Have you ever noticed that the birds have been acting a little…different lately? Well, I have and I know why. So, rumor has it that in 1986 former President Ronald Reagan, killed close to all of them. But that’s not all, he had to still make it seem like the Earth still had birds, so he replaced them with spies, for the government of course. I mean, it would make sense because of how randomly Facebook will just have an ad about the pair of shoes you were just talking about with your friend. Yes, it could be that the government heard you say it through the microphone on your phone, but what about the times that your phone was unable to hear that conversation? You know who hears it then? The birds. There is also a bit of a stigma that the birds are working for the bourgeoisie (bo͝orZHwäˈzē) which is just the middle class. That goes hand and hand with them working for the government.
I bet you’re now wondering if they are spies, or drones, then wouldn’t they die after a couple of hours? Or that it would be so noticeable and nonchalant seeing birds on charging ports everywhere? Boy, do I have the answer for you. Power lines. I mean they have electricity, and why ELSE would a bird just be on a power line? To hang out with his other bird friends because all of this is just a lie? Heck to the no. They’re there to get the charge that they need. Power lines are accessible anywhere and so many birds can fit on the line at once. Plus seeing a bird or multiple birds on a power line isn’t weird at all either, it almost seems to be just an everyday thing too.
Now, this isn’t just a lie or a joke that the birds aren’t real, there’s even a website and an organization called “Bird’s Aren’t Real”. This is real life people, the birds are just drones working for the government. Or it could be a joke, who knows? I believe 50/50 that this is true. A part of me feels like “yeah this is totally a joke, whatever”, but it’s like, “Hey this is a massive shot in the dark and a total conspiracy theory, but if it as true, I wouldn’t be surprised. And I’d just go along with it”. What do you think?
-Rylee Schremp
Here’s Why Teens Are Saying “The Birds Work For The Bourgeoisie”
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